Sexy Siren Mystery School

How would you run your life and your business — if you were a mermaid?

Think about it.

You’d probably spend a lot of time basking on rocks, sunning your gorgeous scales —
instead of scrambling to pay the bills.

You’d probably live your day-to-day with extraordinary sensuality + depth — no superficial surface skimming or “shore clinging.”

You’d probably fall in LOVE with your own raw, vulnerable Soul — a marvelous opportunity for authentic self-expression + magical attraction!

You’d probably be very prosperous, very serene, and exceptionally magnetic.
A true alpha-female + sovereign Siren. No ifs, ands or … tails.

I created my Sexy Siren Mystery School for just 4 mermaizing folks who are ready for deep, saturated journeys to the soul.

This 6-week program is for you if:

  1. You are ready to step up and lead your life in the direction of that BIG dream…the dream that has awakened in your heart. AND, you’d love someone to bounce ideas off of and have that accountability to help you stay the course.
  2. You’d like to finish that book, website, screenplay, choreography, etc that has been haunting you for years and need that extra supportive push to get it done. DONE. DONE.
  3. You are more clear than ever about WHO you really are and what you came to do in this lifetime. But, like all of us have trouble stepping into who you are really meant to be.
  4. You’d like to increase your PLEASURE in the boardroom AND the bedroom, plus have the income to take a month off in Bali!

Sexy Siren Mystery School is an aphrodisiac for your life and biz that’s all about getting lavished with ungodly amounts of sparkling magical mermaid attention.

mythology being, mermaid in underwater scene, photo compilation

As one of my incandescent water sprites, you get:

  • A Mermaid Archetype reading to determine the ritual and guided visualization journey I’ll custom create for you.
  • 2 hour long, one-on-one coaching sessions – or you can split into four 30 minute sessions – to be scheduled during our 6 weeks together.
  • Our focus? To help you get more sensual, raw, real and vulnerable in your life.
    Why? Because when you bare your soul and open your heart wide, you’re inviting in more juice, more prosperity, more love and deeper, soul-forging sex … yes to THAT!
  • Unlimited email access to touch in when you need extra oxygen while you’re swimming the deep waters of the soul … or if you need a dose of mermaidenly sparkle to help you feel succulent again.
  • 1 guided audio meditation journeys I’ll channel from the Mer-spirit World and record just for you.
  • 1 bespoke ritual in pdf format created for you to embody the MANIFESTATION magic that we conjure during our work together.
  • Lavish one-on-one attention for 6 inspiring weeks.

Living an enchanted life can be as sacred as a prayer and as haunting as a lover’s moan.

Let’s swim these uncharted depths of you, together, with total commitment to the woman you are eternally unfolding into.

This is a 6-week, immersive one-to-one program for $577.

If having me as your personal Mermaid Oracle sounds like a YES, click the link below to pay and register via PayPal:

Deeply, passionately + pleasurably yours,


About Kris

Kris Oster loves defying convention and is satisfied to be anything but ‘normal.’

Once upon a time she was a rock star marketing director and lead website developer for some pretty big names, including Citrix Online, E! Entertainment Television, Disney, ABC, Paramount Pictures. She even made her employer $1 million with a single e-newsletter once.

But, like you, she heard the siren’s call and decided to pursue a life of satisfaction, doing what she loves.

For the past seven years Kris has worked with a hybrid of mer-angel spirits that are coming through for many at this time to heal our wounded self-esteem and sensual, pleasure bodies.

It is time to integrate and connect the energies between our heart-soul and sensual centers to birth a new world of peace, prosperity and soul purpose.

She has recently begun channeling the energy of the Empress to help women create sensual, sustainable and unique life experiences.

© 2023 Kris Seraphine. All rights reserved.