Why Living in the Questions is Scary + Beautiful

Michelle Ward, the When I Grow Up Coach

“Discovering what you wanna be when you grow up is a process. There are skills to identify, values to name, responsibilities to consider, questions to ask & get answered, truths to uncover, false beliefs to conquer, and tons of self-reflection to, um, reflect on. It’s no quick fix…” – by Michelle Ward.

I found Michelle through Danielle LaPorte’s Spark Kit, now a best-selling published book The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful and Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms. I love being a part of her vital coaching group called the Clubhouse. Something I talk about a lot is marinating: waiting for something to sink in, take root, before we take flight. It’s what most level-headed people call “procrastination” and sounds so much nicer to use a cooking metaphor, don’t you think? (Plus, level-headed is way over rated in my book, and in Michelle’s.)

Sometimes, not taking action scares the bejeezus out of us. It’s hard to sit still. It’s hard to be patient and allow your process to flow its full course. But, those stand-still moments, where we just breathe, meditate, plan, ruminate and PLAY are the fodder for our richest offerings. Our creativity doesn’t respond to answers; it responds to living in the questions.

Michelle offered her top 3 ways to “marinate,” a.k.a. living in the questions:

1. Only consider the here & now. Try to forget the past & not worry about the distant future. I know it’s tough. We seem to be programmed that way, right? A lot of my clients put the pressure on to figure out The Career of All Careers For The Rest of Their Lives. No wonder they don’t want to commit to even researching anything! Nobody has a crystal ball, so just consider your next career as one that’ll satiate what you’re looking for now, or the next few years. Also, take the old voices that told you that your finger paintings weren’t any good & the current voices that are saying that you’ll never retire on a finger painter’s salary & put them to bed, too. That’s all in the past, & in the unknown future.
2. Don’t rush. One of the biggest red flags a client can give me is when they come to our second or third session & declare, “I got it!” Sometimes they’ll have even accompany that declaration with the announcement, “And I just put $1,000 on a certification program to do it!” Oy vey. Usually, that ends with them fighting to get their money back a week or two later. While I don’t even want to discourage anyone from finding The Thing they’re looking for, ask yourself if this is a real, true, honest decision or one coming from desperation or fear. If you can’t tell, let it sit for a while. If it’s your true love, it’ll still be there when you feel more secure that it’s the right match for you.
3. Notice the things you keep coming back to. Many times, my clients will end up deciding on the career that’s been rattling in their heads for weeks or months or even – yes – years. For some reason, though, they’ve been discounting that option because it’s not “feasible” or “realistic” or what their parents are expecting them to do. Take the new optimistic, exploration-filled you & ask yourself why this won’t be put to rest. What is it trying to tell you, and what are you scared of?

Read the full blog post.

Michelle jumped in as a contributor for my eBook The Goddess Guide to Business Bliss due out August 20th. Pre-order for just $9 until August 19th. You don’t want to miss out on this one.

I’m so excited to release this eBook to the world. Solid, practical and soulful advice for all women to find their blissful path in business.

Delicious words to marinate by, no?

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