Self-Love + Sovereignty


This post is in honor of the Self-Love Day celebration inspired by Christine Arylo + Stacey Hoffer.

In the midst of my own rebrand, which will take me through the end of this year, I’ve come to realize how stuck I’ve been for the past few months.

And, not stuck for ideas. My Muse, who loves to wake me up at 3:33am EVERY morning, sees to it I never run out of ideas.

It’s not writer’s block.

It’s a vision + dream level stuckness that has directly affected my brand. (BTW, to me brand = clarifying the messages of your soul)

And it ties into one of my new brand motifs – Sovereignty.

Since I’m a lover of tales, I’d like to briefly recount a story from the Arthurian legends: the marriage of Sir Gawain to Lady Ragnell.

Arthur is hunting in the forest when a man steps out of the shadows, Sir Gromer, and threatens to have his head unless he can come back in one year and one day to correctly answer one question:

“You must tell me what it is that women desire most, above all else.”

On his travels to find the answer, and with only one month left to face Sir Gromer, King Arthur is met by a woman covered in jewels and gold. She is also completely disfigured and ugly.

“Her face was red, her nose was runny, her mouth was too wide, her teeth yellow and hanging, her eyes bleary, her neck too long, and she was shaped like a barrel.”

She reveals her name, Lady Ragnell, and that she is the only one who can help him find the answer for the riddle. In return for this information Arthur must agree to give her something she wants.

He agrees. (ooops)

“You must grant me a certain knight to wed. His name is Sir Gawain. Either I marry the Knight Sir Gawain, or you must lose your head.”

She continues “… now thou shalt know what women desire above all else. Some men say we desire to be beautiful, or that we desire attentions from many men, or that we desire to be well wed. Thus, these men do not know the truth. What we desire above all else is to have sovereignty, to rule our lives as we see fit, to not be beholden to another. Go forth, Sir King, for now thy life is assured.”

Arthur’s life is spared and he returns to Camelot with the bride-to-be.

Sir Gawain must take one for the team.

Of course, Gawain is a noble knight and doesn’t even hesitate. He vows to marry the hideous creature without flinching.

Arthur wants them to marry at a time when no one will show up to see Lady Ragnell’s ugliness. She refuses. They must be “openly wed.”

In the post-wedding boudoir, she asks Gawain to kiss her and he turns around to see a beautiful young woman standing before him!

She tells him that she was under a curse placed by Sir Gromer, her brother, and that she is ugly by day and her beautiful self at night.
And now that he was her husband he would have to choose: did he want her beautiful by day and ugly at night, or monstrous by day and glorious at night?

He turned to her and said, “To have you fair by nights and no more, that would grieve my heart right sore. And if I desire by days to have you fair, then nights I’m sure I could not bear. So I must put the choice in your own hands. Whatever you choose, as your husband that choice will also be my own.”

Poof! The curse was broken. Lady Ragnell remained beautiful day and night … and they lived happily ever after.

Because Sir Gawain was willing to allow his wife her sovereignty, BEAUTY was restored.

For a long time I let the rules dictate how I did my branding and marketing. I was too afraid to be seen, to show my true self.

With sovereignty comes both vulnerability and visibility.

It is when we stand and speak up for our biggest vision that we claim our right as Sovereign over our lives.

My self-love question to you (and to me) is are you allowing yourself sovereignty? Or do you let other people and life circumstances dictate how you move through life? Are you living the big vision, as vulnerable as that is, that you hold in your heart?

*Quotes from story by Whootie’s Choose A Story Finder.

Do you find it easy to make promises to other people, and rarely make loving promises with yourself? Are you ready to say YES to falling more in love with yourself every day for the rest of your life? My friend, Christine Arylo has outdone herself with this FREE Self-Love Promise Kit. Grab yours today!


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